To the Young Adult in College

If I could go back, these are some thoughts that I would tell my younger self while I was attending college.

While growing up, I had the perfect plan for my life. Disney movies were my preferred thing to watch. I always loved when the princesses meet their princes and immediately fall in love. The weddings at the end always made my so excited for when I would get married someday. 

I remember in young women classes making the list of qualities I wanted to look for in a future husband. The lessons about being worthy for the right person at the right time so we could get married at the right place always filled my thoughts. That was my number one goal.

When I was getting ready to go to BYU-Idaho, I remember my Bishop saying to me that I would get to Rexburg and meet boys and get married. The “BYU I do” phrase was thrown at me a lot. So I had it stuck in my brain that I would meet my husband and get married soon after I started attending college. 

Well, that was not my story. Heavenly Father had a different plan for me, but it took me a while to understand that. In fact, it took me 6 years (all of my undergrad) to realize that. My first two semesters, I was really social. I went swing dancing every week. I hung out with my home evening brothers. I put myself in situations in which I would be noticed and asked on dates. I had a crush on all the really nice, good-looking guys in my ward. I was really obvious with my crushes, too—to the point where I was friend-zoned a lot. I was so desperate to fit this mold of what I wanted to happen that it scared these amazing guys away.

 After a few semesters of this pattern, I realized that I needed to take a step back and see if there was anything that I could do differently. I realized that there was a lot of growing up that I needed to do. I had a prompting that told me that if I wanted to marry one of these awesome guys, I needed to be worthy of them. I wanted to marry someone who was physically fit; I needed to work on my physical health. I wanted to marry someone who was a worthy priesthood holder; I needed to make sure I was a worthy and active participant in Relief Society and sacrament meetings. I also chose to become endowed during that time. I wanted to marry someone who would lead our family in scripture study; I needed to develop a habit of scripture study. Studies show that you are attracted to people that have the same interests as you. So I worked hard on becoming the person I wanted to marry. 

The mission age change happened during my third year at BYU-Idaho. In my patriarchal blessing, it talks about me serving a mission, but I told myself that I would wait and serve a mission with my husband when we got old. I dismissed an obvious thing that the Lord wanted me to do because of my plan. Before my last year of college, I told Heavenly Father that I would serve a mission if I was not married when I graduated from college. To be totally honest, I did not want to serve a mission. I wanted to get married and have kids and that was it. After a while, I started to realize that Heavenly Father’s plan was quite a bit different than my plan. I did everything I could to get married before graduating, but I never did get married during my time at BYUI. “BYU I do” became “BYU I didn’t”. 

After graduating, I did end up serving a mission. I fought the idea for a couple weeks, but I followed through. A few years after my mission, I met my husband in the most unlikely place during a time when I was least expecting it. Looking back, I am so glad that Heavenly Father did not allow me to marry the first college crush I had. God’s plan is always better. 

There are so many lessons I learned and wonderful people I met because God’s plan is better than mine. I learned that it is ok for my plan to not work out. Heavenly Father knows what is going to bring me lasting joy, and He knows when I am ready to receive certain blessings. He knows what relationships and friendships I need to help me stay on the covenant path. I had so many roommates and friends that were wonderful examples of the Savior. They brought me closer to Him through their actions and words. He knows what lessons I need to learn to keep me humble and teach me how to be more like the Savior. In every waiting period or trial, there is always something to be learned. He knows what’s best. 

So when things do not go according to plan, that is ok. God has a perfect plan, and I would rather go with His plan than my own. Lasting joy is more important than immediate satisfaction.