Teen Pregnancy

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I was a teen mom.

In late October of 2013, I was standing in the high school girl’s bathroom reading a pregnancy test. I was fifteen at the time, and had, for the most part, been enjoying my sophomore year. When those two little pink lines showed up indicating what I had already known, I felt the world stand still for a moment. I had so many emotions like anxiety, horror, and relief going through my mind I couldn’t think straight. I walked out of the bathroom, got in my car, and drove home. When I got there, I asked my mother if I could take her for a walk. It was clearly visible that I wasn’t okay and needed her undivided attention. For the last sixteen months, I had kept nothing but secrets from my parents, and it had felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my weak shoulders. That evening I told her everything. About the secret relationship I had with my boyfriend at the time and the issues that we had. I told her about how bad my mental health had gotten, and most importantly, that I was now pregnant at fifteen.

I’ve always wanted to share my story, throughout the years I’ve had the opportunity to help women that are in situations similar to mine, and it has brought me much satisfaction. I hope that if by hearing a more detailed version of it helps them to see the blessings that come from God in our darkest times can be some of the most life-changing experiences, and that has the opportunity to impact us for years to come. Throughout my story, I will be pointing out the blessings I witnessed and how they shaped who I am. 

Years prior to finding out I was pregnant, my mother made a small comment to me that somehow always stayed with me. I can’t remember where we were, what we were doing, or what the context of our conversation was, but my mother looked at me and distinctly said, “If you ever get pregnant, I will still love you.” This is blessing #1. Those words came back to me in the evening that I told my mother I was pregnant, and it was such a source of strength for me. It gave me the courage that no matter what, my mother wouldn’t abandon me and would still love me regardless of the choices I had made. The saying, “who you are is greatly impacted by the five people you are most with’’ was especially true in my case. I felt myself going down a very wrong path, but I was so ashamed and scared to ask for help that I truly believe that if I had never gotten pregnant, I would be in a much different place than I am now. Not to be dramatic or anything, but getting pregnant saved me.

The next couple of weeks post-pregnancy news consisted of figuring out our new normal. I was immediately pulled out of my high school and enrolled in an online school. I had doctor appointments set for my mental and physical health and started having conversations with my immediate and extended family about what was happening. After things had settled down and the shock of me being pregnant was wearing off, my mother shared that for a while she and my father had been having the promptings that another little spirit would be joining our family. They didn’t know how it was going to happen but felt that adoption was going to be a key part. This is blessing #2. Our Father in Heaven knew that my parents needed to be prepared for my son’s arrival; knowing this helped keep peace and harmony within our home at such a trying time and allowed me to heal my relationship with my parents. Knowing this also solidified our decision to keep my baby despite pressure from church authorities to place him up for adoption.

One evening when I was having an especially difficult time with all the challenges going on, my father told me that when God gives us trials, we have two options. One, we can open our hearts to Him and do everything we can to learn from it and to allow this experience to better ourselves.  Or two, we can close ourselves off to His help and guidance, and let the trial make us hard and bitter, and we will have zero spiritual growth. This conversation is blessing #3, because hearing this from him really changed my perspective. After that, I worked diligently to grow my relationship with our Savior. I grew a much needed “backbone” to stand up for the things I believe in and I grew to love myself. I discovered things that made me unique, I became aware of the areas of growth I needed to work on, and I gained a confidence I had never known before, which helped immensely with all the negative things the world has to say about a teen mom. 

During my pregnancy, I still went to church, never missing a Sacrament meeting. Which, as you can imagine, turned a lot of heads in the congregation. And if I’m being honest, going to church was probably the hardest part of it all. It felt like I had a giant sign on my back, (or should I say belly?) saying, “Yeahhhh, I screwed up.”  A lot of unsolicited but well-intentioned advice came from there, but I can still remember the day I started taking the sacrament again. The feeling of forgiveness that I felt from our Father in Heaven was overwhelming. I knew that I had truly been forgiven and that my pregnancy wasn’t the sin. I was only at fault for the actions that lead me to become pregnant.

      The educational statistics for teen moms are pretty low— the majority of them don’t finish high school, and an even smaller percentage graduate from college. I knew that I wanted, no, NEEDED to be an exception. So, I got my GED at 17 and enrolled right into college afterward. My dream had always been to be a nurse, but most importantly, I had to show my son that his unexpected arrival did not “ruin” my life. It gave me drive and purpose and did not hinder my abilities to reach my dreams. 

       In the summer of 2016, I met my husband on a dating app called Mutual. Normally I didn’t do the chasing when it came to talking to someone new, but when I saw my husband’s profile picture, the Holy Ghost confirmed to me that this was the man I was intended to marry. I felt an overwhelming amount of love for someone I had never met, so I chased him, HARD! It took us a while to get on our first date, but when we did, we both left there knowing that somewhere down the line, marriage was waiting for us. My husband is blessing #4. He held zero judgment about my past, zero resentments against my ex-boyfriend, and most importantly, looked at my son like he was the most amazing little human being ever. We got married in the Temple in May of 2017. Walking out of the Temple as husband and wife and greeting OUR son on the front steps was something I’ll never forget. We became the little family I had dreamed of for so long, and it was finally happening because I had faith that the Lord knew what he was doing. 

Fast forward a couple months to January 2018: we are sitting in a courtroom as a family with my son, husband, and both of our parents. The adoption paperwork for our son to become legally ours was signed, and we walked out of there with mine and my husband’s names on his birth certificate. The next week we were in the Temple waiting to be sealed as a family for time and all eternity. I hold this experience as one of the most sacred and influential moments of my life. I share this with great reverence and respect towards our Father in Heaven, but I also share it with a purpose. When we walked into the Temple that morning, we went our separate ways, and our son stayed with his grandmother, while my husband and I spent some time in the Celestial Room. When it was time for us to rejoin our son for the Sealing, we walked out into a hallway in the Temple, and he was standing there with two Temple workers, all dressed in white with the biggest and purest smile on his face. It was at this moment that I felt so clearly the arms of our Savior embracing me. I felt so much love from Him, more than I ever have before. I felt the trials and challenges I had faced the last three years to get to this point be rewarded with this moment so pure that I knew, I KNEW I had never been alone through it. All of the tears I had shed when I missed out on normal teenage experiences, the frustrations I had after long nights of being awake with a newborn at sixteen, the hopeless feeling of finding someone who would accept and love both me and my son. Through all of my ups and downs, my Savior stood by me and helped me through it, even when I couldn’t see it. It was at that moment of seeing my sweet son dressed in white that I was finally able to see the bigger picture, His picture. His plan all along that started with complete heartbreak and ended with this love and joy that I get to call mine for the rest of Eternity. This little moment is blessing #5.

       Now, you’re probably wondering where the birth father is in all of this.  Well…we gave him space, I focused on myself, and he focused on himself. After my son was born, we had monthly visits where we would sit and talk, and he could interact with our son. After he graduated high school, he enlisted in the military, and while there he grew into someone I know that my son will be so proud of. We continue to have a couple of yearly visits, all of which are enjoyable, and my son gets to know who he is. I have zero resentments towards him, and I’m so grateful for the relationship that we now have.

For anyone going through an unexpected pregnancy or situation similar, my advice is to open yourself to the will of our Lord. Because through Him, we are strengthened and can conquer all trials that may come our way. Pray for guidance about what would be best for your baby. I understand that my situation is unique and not suitable for everyone. Whether it be adoption or keeping your baby, I believe that God has a plan for you both. Trust him even if you have lost all hope. Look for the blessings that come from it; they will encourage and keep you going.

Secondly, I highly encourage putting your education as a priority. Having this not only sets you apart from others, but it will give you opportunities later in life that you will need. Show your child that they did not hinder you from reaching your dreams, but rather helped you reach even higher. 

-Savannah Child

savichild@gmail.com